Leaving Amsterdam

“As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, ‘Flee for your lives! Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!’” Genesis 19:17

[Fair warning: This one is probably the most graphic one yet—that’s why it is short and separate from the others.]

April 14, 2013About 3:30am, the lights in the room switched on. A large, loud group of four or five different voices came into the room. I think they were speaking French, but they were heavily intoxicated, so it was hard to tell. They moved things around, opened and slammed doors, and took showers before heading back out into town for the night. I was able to stay about half asleep through the whole thing, but it was still a bit frustrating.

I did get back to sleep after they left. I woke up about 9am to pack up and check out. I did so in the dark so as not to wake the few other people still sleeping. Out in the lobby, I turned in my key card and got some breakfast in the bar. Initially, I didn’t see the girls, but Liz and Lauren waved me over.

Sitting down, I shared the story about my 3am hostel guests that checked in. Their evening had been a bit more exciting.

Apparently the sex show costs about 60 euros to get in, plus drinks at the bar. Once in, you can stay as long as you want. There are six to seven acts that each last ten minutes. The first is traditionally just a couple that comes out and has sex on stage. They are followed by groups of men that masturbate each other, women who masturbate each other, followed by orgy like performances with men and women.

As the evening continues, a couple will come out and a woman puts a banana in her vagina from which the man proceeds to eat it. The man then puts one in his butt, from which the woman will eat it. The big finale, and huge crowd pleaser, comes when a woman puts a sharpie in her vagina and then takes volunteers from the audience. She will then write or draw whatever the volunteer requests on his chest.

The show then repeats and guests can choose to stay for the same thing again or leave.

After they got back in the night, one a few of the girls had tried different marijuana substances. Not all of the “trips” had been successful and there were some weird hallucinations and paranoia going on in their room all night. Apparently the whole group was woken up when their bathroom mirror fell to the ground and shattered. No one had even touched it and they have no idea why it fell.

The girls went back to their room to pack up and check out. Since I was already moved out, I decided to sit in the bar and read a little. I would have gone out, but it was raining and I figured I’d stay dry as long as I could. I did find an outlet in the bar that I could charge my iPod on, so I did that too.

The group coalesced about 11:00. Andy and Jen showed up shortly after that. A few of the girls had left to catch early flights. The rest of us headed to the train station. After buying tickets back to the airport and grabbing sandwhiches for lunch, we went back to Schipol to store our stuff and go visit the tulip fields.

On the train ride back to Schipol the car we got into was very crowded. We were all spread out in different rows. The man I sat next to had given me a pleasant smile when I sat down. A few seconds later he started twitching and yelling at the empty seat across from us. He proceeded the conversation with no one for the entire 12 minute ride to the airport.

Schipol had a very high-tech storage system. Once a bag was put in a locker, it automatically locked. At the machine by the main door, people paid the fee and received a ticket with  a barcode on it. When they returned for their bags, they could scan this barcode on a scanner by the door, and their locker would automatically open.

I think technology has done some wonderful things for society. I however was not willing to trust this machine with all of my belongings. I’m sure it was very smart and very accurate, but since it didn’t allow me to tell it which locker my things were in, I didn’t want to take the chance that my code opened someone else’s locker—or have someone else open mine. I decided to keep my bag with me.

Because my flight was operated by EasyJet, I hadn’t been able to check in yet. Wanting to make sure I had my boarding pass back to Prague before leaving the airport again, I went upstairs to check in.

The line for the kiosks was super long and no one seemed to be able to figure out how to scan their passports. I started getting antsy after waiting ten minutes. I figured if the group went on without me, I had the info pack on how to get to the tulip fields. When I got up to the kiosk, I checked in within 30 seconds, had my boarding pass, and was ready to go.

When I got back to the starbucks that I was supposed to meet the group at, Jen was still there. She said that Andy and the others had gone to get tickets but we still had time to catch them.

“Now that you’ve booked a couple trips with us,” she said as we walked to the bus, “we’d love to hear your feedback.” I promised I would send them some when I got back to Prague.

Outside, we found the bus to the tulip fields. As we were walking towards it, Andy called and said they had stopped inside for a minute. We went back in and found them rolling joints in a coffee shop. When we’d regrouped we went outside and bought tickets for the bus.

“I don’t want to single you out,” Andy said to me as we waited in line for tickets, “but I did want to make sure that you felt welcomed this weekend.”

“Oh absolutely!” I said.

“Good!” he said. “Most college students come to Europe for the drinking and most come to Amsterdam for the drugs so I try really hard not to…well not to play parent but also not to push anyone into it. I hate it when it gets cliquey and uncomfortable for people.”

“Not at all,” I said. “This was great. I got to see it, but never felt pressured to do it.”

“Awesome!”

Since Andy and Jen are doing tours of Amsterdam every other weekend all spring, they’ve decided to save the Tulip fields for their last venture out in May. So with that, we all hugged, said ‘good-bye’ and the five of us that were left boarded the bus for Keukenhof.