I have to say, this week has been the first time in my life
that I have honestly felt discriminated against. Being a white, straight,
protestant, English speaking, male (not to mention, with blue eyes) typically
doesn’t leave much room for discrimination. This week however, I’ve heard some
pretty shocking things about America.
As I mentioned, I am taking a week long intensive class in
Cross Cultural communications. This course was described as an opportunity to
learn communication and negotiation skills between cultures. The class is very
diverse. Our professor is Czech, but spent most of his life in Austrailia. Of
course a large portion of the class is also Czech, with a few Slovaks. There
are Germans, French, Italians, Canadians, Vietnamese, Australians, Indians, and
me—the lone American.
My initial surprise was when my professor announced that
America was not a multicultural society. My eyebrows raised more than a little
at this statement and I immediately began to think, Wait a minute, you got that ALL wrong. We’re the ‘melting pot’ of the
world, the ‘land of opportunity,’ the ‘nation of immigrants.’ Of course we are
THE multicultural society of the world.
When he said the most multicultural society was Canada…I was
just offended.
But he went on to explain even in the Czech Republic, a citizen
who is of German descent would refer to themselves as German, not Czech. In
America, he pointed out that US citizens are referred to as Americans
regardless of their family background. He continued to point out that
immigrants are expected to learn the American customs. He emphasized that English
was the national language.
I was okay with all of these points. He had made a good
argument. What surprised me was some of the dialogue about America.
A group of students who had previously studied abroad in
America gave their impression of American culture. I took meticulous notes in
my journal, writing down every word they said. In a way, it’s been interesting.
Hearing some of their criticisms have made me realize I am guilty of the
behaviors they described.
Below, I’ve reproduced verbatim some of what they said. I’d
like to share it with you, but I encourage you to suspend your judgment in
reading them. Please realize that their observations are only of the
surface-level behaviors they have witnessed…not being from America they do not
understand some of the psychology behind why we do what we do.
Without further ado…here are their opinions:
- I hate people who are superficial and I’m sorry but Americans have to be the most superficial lot around. They always smile at everything you say and are like, ‘Wow! That’s so cool!’ They mock you by pretending to be interested but they use the same phrases every time. It’s always ‘That’s so cool’ regardless of what you tell them.
- American’s are always in
your business but they don’t really care about you. Every time you talk to
them it’s like “How are you?” or
“How have you been?” Why does it matter? Can’t I have a private matter to
myself without you always asking me about it. And if you are having a bad
day and you try to tell that to an American, they don’t care. They only
asked the question either be nosy or to pretend like they care.
- American friendships are fake. When I studied in America everyone talked about how their friends were like family to them, but as soon as they found something interesting to do, they left their friends behind. They care more about what they are doing than who they are with. They are more worried about not being alone for lunch, than actually getting to know the person they are eating with.
- Family isn’t important to America unless the father is yelling at the kids. Every night at dinner, my host family would go around and tell their father what they did during the day and he would tell them they should have tried harder or worked better. It’s like the American fathers think that their family reflects on them so they try to control everything their family does.
- American kids do not care about their parents. When they get older, they can’t wait to leave their families. They try to move far away and they don’t go home to visit on weekends. The parents don’t seem to care. They are just worried about their kids being successful and popular.
- Americans are too
excitable. When you take them to the mountains or show them some scenery,
they are all like”Wow! That is amazing! It’s so beautiful.” Sometimes I
want to say, “What have you never seen a
%#&$-ing mountain before?” In Austrailia they used to think
that everything they saw was “the cutest thing they’d ever seen.” I mean I
like to travel and see stuff too, but I don’t have to announce to everyone
that I like what I am seeing.
- Americans can’t handle
alcohol. Three different girls died at the university I studied at because
they were never taught by their parents how to drink. My parents used to
let me have a beer at home or a glass of wine at Christmas. The parents in
America like hide the alcohol so the kids try and sneak it before they are
old enough and they get so drunk. They need to change their drinking age.
[My professor interjected here with a little history lesson on American
Prohibition and the psychological affects he thinks that has had on
America.]
- Americans would be happier
if they chopped up the country. Each of the states should just be their
own countries. I think there are a lot of people who are unhappy with the
DC government because it is too small a government for such a big country.
- America thinks they have
to play policeman to the world. They even call themselves “The World
Police.” Then they wonder why we don’t like them butting in. No one likes
the police crashing into anything! And when America gets involved, they
just kill people and don’t make anything better; but they want the credit
when the war is over.
- Americans always have
something to prove. Every conversation you have with them comes back to
what they’ve done. They talk to their friends about their jobs or their
studies. They want everyone to know how busy they are and what they have
accomplished. It is very fake basis for a relationship I think.
There was one definitely positive statement, made by my
professor actually, that surprised me just as much as the prejudices listed
above.
-
America, hands down, has the
best education system in the world. They are far more advanced in science,
technology, mathematics. There is not a nation that can compete with
America in those fields. And the way they do education, they are very good
at making sure their students know information from a wide variety of
subjects so they have more opportunities. It is the best education in the
world. [A stark contrast from some
of the political rhetoric on both sides of the presidential debates last
year.]
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