Kde Domov Muj?

“Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no whenever you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide rather you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing.” ~Eve Ensler

May 27, 2013
I’ve decided this is where the Blog should end. Of course there is more to the story, as I will spend the next 14 days with my family touring Prague, Berlin, and Frankfurt before flying back to the states. In all honesty, I feel like blogging about my Adventure in Europe is sort of a “coming of age” story; blogging about my family in Europe feels more like a reality TV show.

And I started this blog on the advice of our school’s International Cultural Exchange office. They told me “you are going to change so much, having something to look back at will mean the world to you.”

I realized I could have journaled and it would have filled the same purpose. In many ways, it probably would have been easier and less time consuming than journaling, and then typing up the journal onto the blog. My logic was twofold. On a practical level, I knew that years from now I would (a) never be able to read my handwriting and (b) could lose the journal and would want a backup. On a more personal level, I wanted to share the adventure with people. It was so lonely going to all of these “secret destinations” by myself; I wanted to share the stories with people as I went.

This of course brought me to choosing a name for the blog. I honestly just Googled “Travel quotes” and read through a few before finding the one by Martin Buber. I liked it, because I knew I wanted to travel outside, but I didn’t know exactly where I was going when I left home. (It wasn’t till after I had created the blog that my good friends informed me “Secret Destinations” sounded like some sort of porn film…but at that point, I was committed.)

And I felt like “Secret Destinations” could have a very philosophical side to it too. A destination is somewhere that we arrive at. When the journey is over, we have reached our destination. If the destination is a secret, we don’t know where we will arrive or when the journey will be over. I had no way of knowing what I would see, feel, think, do, or believe through the course of this adventure. All I knew was that I was going to make the most of it.

People encouraged me before I left to “enjoy every second” “push myself to try new things” “step out of my comfort zone.” These were all things I always thought I was capable of, but I guess my past pattern of behavior never indicated that. I’m proud to say, I did that. That’s not to say there weren’t days where I slept in, or relaxed, but I really tried to pack as much into 120 days as I could. I can honestly say, I have no regrets (there is a list of things I wish I could still do, but they will wait for next time) and I loved every second of it.

Honestly, I expected it to be harder than it was. My first year at summer camp was awful. I literally cried myself to sleep every night. Some years were better than others, but there were a number of homesick years at camp. Here, I have often wanted to see my family, and I have a few friends I am still dying to reconnect with (in just 13 days!) but I never had this “cry myself to sleep” sensation. It was never “too hard.” From runny noses, to panic attacks, to night terrors, and a screwed up ankle, I never needed to go home.

To call it 120 days isn’t really fair. So far, it’s been 107. In 107 days, I toured Prague, and 2 other cities in the Czech Republic. I went to Berlin, Barcelona, Munich, Salzburg, Amsterdam, Zurich, Paris, Hallstatt, and Rome. Nine of the past 14 weeks I spent on the road. In those 14 weeks I’ve learned a lot. Perhaps we could call what I learned the “Secret Destinations”

In regards to the world, I learned quite a few things. First and foremost, I learned that the world is not as scary as a lot of people think it is. It may come as a surprise (or maybe it doesn’t even deserve mention) but the world is made up of people, and people are people. There are good people everywhere and there are bad people everywhere. Security—everywhere in the world—is a fallacy. A woman gets raped in Oslo, a movie theater gets shot up in Denver, a tourist in Rome gets pickpocketed, and a marathon gets blown up in Boston. Most people, just want to be loved and they cling to whatever lifestyle gives them that love.

In regards to history, I could write novels. Every city I visited made me want to visit another. The history of Prague is so connected to Germany, whose history is so connected to Austria and France, who both have history connected to Switzerland (which really doesn’t have history connected to anyone…but does blend French, German, and Italian cultures) and everywhere in the Western world—including Barcelona and Amsterdam—owe their entire history to the ancient Roman world in Italy. Places like Paris and Rome have history to Egypt while places like Prague have history connected to Turkey and Rome has history connected to Israel (I think I’ve found 3 destinations for a future trip.)

In regards to religion, I again come back to the line of people are people. I think there probably is some sort of universal truth in this world. I think people are made with an inner longing to be connected to something out there. I think there is a higher moral order to life that should be respected and honored. That said, I do not believe that one religion is better or truer than another. I think we have a lot to learn from Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Atheists, etc. I think all of these can help us better know ourselves, our world, and our inner ability to love.

In regards to global business—which is what I actually set out to “study” on my study abroad—I learned that the world has been doing “global business” a lot longer than Americans realize. The Dutch were trading with everyone way before EBay went international. All of Europe has always had migration between kingdoms bringing different goods, customs, and traditions. So while Globalization may be a big new buzz word in America, the rest of the world just calls it “business as usual.” This means America does have some catching up to do. Part of that is America’s fault. While the rest of the world invests a lot of time into learning other languages and cultures in order to conduct business around the world, Americans learn about America and how to speak English. We have a long way to go to compete in the global market.

In regards to friendships (my notes on what I learned about my own friends can be seen below) I’ve learned that American relationships can be fairly detached. Handshakes and are the way we tend to go when greeting a friend. If they are a really close friend, we might offer a hug. In most of Europe, friends hold hands or greet with a kiss. Body language is so warm and natural. Even the community that is created with strangers just from using public transportation feels so connected. It has made me realize how detached we get in the states from handshakes among friends and commuting by car in solitude.

In regards to America, [this part of the post gets a little political and is probably a bit taboo to post on the internet…send me an email or let’s have coffee if you want to hear my thoughts on this one J]

In regards to me (here we go) I’ve learned a lot.

…I never saw myself as someone who was sacred. I knew that somewhere inside me I could be outgoing if I wanted to, but it was just easier to go through the motions. I never knew why. Now I realize how much fear was behind that. I so cared what people thought of me. I had to be in control at all times and conformity seemed like the safest route to do that. Well, after four months of being out of control in every aspect of my life—with no idea of what “right” is—I can honestly say, I feel like a curse has been broken. I so don’t care what people think anymore. I want to do what makes me happy, not what makes me “right.”

…Over 19 years, I carefully constructed this 40-year-old Zach persona. In time, I didn’t even see myself as a teenager and teenaged activities didn’t register for me. When the only logic was “Do it! It’s fun!” I didn’t get it. I realize now “it’s fun” is some of the best logic in the world. Too many people don’t take the time to have fun. I think in a lot of ways, fun is like playing a sport; you have to practice regularly or you eventually forget how it’s done.

…I learned I have amazing friends back home. There’s a line in Nicholas Sparks’ The Notebook that goes, “The scariest thing about distance is you don’t know whether they’ll miss you or forget about you.” This totally summarized my greatest fear in leaving for Europe. Missing Scout events, graduations, Easter, etc. were all difficult. I was so blessed to have friends contact me on a regular basis and remind me they missed me. My closest friends who stayed in touch with me via email and Skype almost daily—and certainly weekly—made the trip so much more fun. I can’t wait to see them again and have more adventures together back home.

…I have such a new appreciation for my family. To be honest, there was a whole lot of lying in the promotional material about getting older. From grocery shopping to doing laundry, there is a lot of crap that you have to do to be independent. It was hard enough doing it for myself; I can’t imagine doing it for a whole gaggle of people. My parents truly were so supportive of this adventure. They cheered me on, let me vent, took the blame, shared the laughs, and put up with the panicked “my foot is falling off Skype calls at 1am.” Not to mention the entire time I’ve been gone, they put up with the roller coaster of “life as usual” for themselves.

…I learned I like solitude. I have put so much pressure on myself in the past to go faster, faster, faster. I felt guilty when I wasn’t with people or doing something. I always felt like people who were constantly with other people were happier. Now I realize, I am the type of person who just needs some “me time.” I recharge by being myself. I like taking a walk or sitting in a park or just journaling a bit to collect my thoughts. Don’t get me wrong,

…I’ve learned I love people. Again, I realized people aren’t evil or scheming. Most people are good. I’ve kept myself so guarded for so long, that it was hard to accept help from others or allow myself to admit my insecurity. But I had no other options. It’s funny, since February 8^th, I have not physically been with anyone that I knew before February 8^th. There were a few people I’d emailed or talked with briefly, but every in-person relationship I’ve had for the past 4 months has been formed in that time frame. That amazes me. That is something I never thought I was capable of.

...I feel like some of the other things I’ve learned are just the trite sayings we hear through life. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Live every moment. Take chances.

…I’ve learned a thing or two about home.

This brings me to the name of this post. “Kde Domov Muj” is the Czech “E Pluribus Unum.” It is the official national motto of the Czech Republic. It is derived from the long history of the Czech people—who settled in the valley, only to face a history in which they were conquered by the Romans, Germans, Catholics, Hapsburgs, Nazis, and Communists—to describe their fight for a nation.

Translated to English, it means: “Where is my home?”

Home. It’s a word with such weighty connotation. We long to be home. We run-away from home. Things remind us of home.  There’s no place like home.

I’ve gone over the rainbow, down the rabbit hole, through the wardrobe, and straight on till morning. I’ve dodged danger, embraced history, survived off of Ramen, and discovered a love of people and adventure. Every city I visited was filled with magic. Every person I met showed me a piece of my own soul. Every trip I took helped me to discover me.

And now that I’m returning home, I realized what home means. Home really is in your heart. Home is knowing there are people who care about you no matter how far you roam. Home is knowing that you are never too far gone to find your way back. Home is being able to look at yourself in the mirror and say “I love you.”

You can be at home anywhere in the world. Perhaps that’s the greatest Secret Destination of all.